Things to try

It might be that talking about what you're going through is the last thing you feel like doing. Or, it might be that you don't feel like talking to your loved ones about it. Ironically, this is usually a sign that getting something off your chest may be essential to healing. Consider asking a therapist or someone you trust to be a sounding board for you. You only need to start with one person.

"It's ok to not be ok" may be overused—but for good reason. Hiding feelings of anger or sadness might actually make you feel more stressed or isolated. And at worst, could even lead to depression, anxiety, or physical illness. Try sharing how you're really feeling with a trusted friend, family member, or partner. This can help deepen your connection, and get the empathy and support you need. You don't need to tell everyone everything all at once---try starting with something as simple as "I am having a hard time."

Aside from just sounding good, research shows that listening to music actually increases blood flow to regions in your brain that generate and control emotions. And studies show that faster music (usually performed at a tempo between 140 and 150 beats per minute) tends to generate more positive emotions than slower music. Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” (at 156 BPM) is just one example of a song that might give you some positive emotions—it's the first of 10 in a research-backed playlist. But don't let us stop you from making your own playlist of songs that feel good to you.

Though getting a massage might sound overly indulgent, it can provide healing benefits like calming your nervous system, increasing circulation, relieving muscle tension, eliminating toxins, and boosting immunity. Massage has also been shown to decrease cortisol (a stress hormone) and increase levels of oxytocin (known as “the love hormone.”) Though it's always an option to book at a spa, you can also try self massage or ask a partner.

Stress or worry might lead you to interpret situations negatively, be overly self-critical, or doubt you ability to deal with stressors. To reframe negative thoughts, avoid thinking of them as facts and consider other possibilities. Doing this over time can help reduce the negative emotional response to stress. The world is hard enough, you don't need to be hard on yourself, too.

If you're going through a challenging time, think about who you feel comfortable with, and what interactions might feel supportive so you can tell people what you need—whether it's talking about how you’re feeling so you can release some pent-up emotions, or finding comfort by time together with no words exchanged.

Though making a specific ask when you're going through difficult times might feel strange, well-intentioned friends who say “Let me know if I can do anything” will be glad to have a clear idea of how to be helpful. If you aren’t sure where to start, consider: Practical support: errands, cooking, babysitting, etc.; Social/well-being activities: taking a walk, going to coffee or lunch, etc.; Emotional support: spending time together—to talk, or just spend time together.