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Sadness

It’s OK to feel sad sometimes: It’s part of being a human. But when sadness becomes all-consuming and overwhelming, it may be a sign that extra steps need to be taken to care for yourself. This guide will help you identify and understand when to take those steps.
Woman looking out a window

What is sadness?

Most of the time, we feel sad in response to something in our lives that felt hurtful or like a loss. But not all of the time. We can be sad for what seems like no reason, and our friends can seem to be enjoying something, and we aren’t. It can make us feel like we are somehow different, but how you feel is not a choice. Sadness is a typical reaction—one we all experience at different times and in different ways.  

What's causing my sadness?

In many ways, our understanding of exactly what causes sadness and how we react to it is still evolving. Like many feelings, it has origins in our biology and our social interactions. 

It’s important to note that sadness (a feeling) is different from depression even if we use the words interchangeably sometimes. Depression is a mental health condition, and sadness is only one symptom of it. Often, sadness is temporary and can vary in intensity.

How should I deal with sadness?

You’ve already taken an important step in dealing with your sadness by identifying that you’re feeling sad. Allow yourself time and space to feel. Pushing down and ignoring your emotions often causes more issues later, so cry if you need to cry.

Afterward, you can try to find ways to cope with it. What you do may depend on what you like, but there are many practical options to choose from. 

Things to try

These are numerous approaches you can try to feel better if you’re experiencing sadness. The goal is not to ignore being sad or judge yourself for being sad, but to take time to process your feelings.
Acknowledge and avoid negative self-talk
Do that new thing you've been meaning to try

  • Create an upbeat playlist

    Aside from just sounding good, research shows that listening to music actually increases blood flow to regions in your brain that generate and control emotions. And studies show that faster music (usually performed at a tempo between 140 and 150 beats per minute) tends to generate more positive emotions than slower music. Queen’s “Don’t Stop Me Now” (at 156 BPM) is just one example of a song that might give you some positive emotions—it's the first of 10 in a research-backed playlist. But don't let us stop you from making your own playlist of songs that feel good to you.
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  • Recognize when to get help

    If you feel things getting worse instead of better, notice you've lost interest in people and things you used to enjoy, or have trouble doing everyday things like eating, getting dressed, and getting out of the house, you may be experiencing a more serious mental health issue and it’s important to seek out help from a therapist or psychiatrist who can help you find relief. It can be hard to recognize changes in symptoms, so consider tracking them in a journal or mood-tracking app. If you or a loved one is having thoughts of self-harm, talk to someone you trust or call or text 988 to get free and confidential support from the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. Learn about more crisis resources
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  • Watch something funny

    Humor has a lot of power. Watching a comedic movie or even a standup comedy special may seem like a bandaid, but it has the potential to tap into the depths of your true self. (This goes back to the common phrase, "It's funny because it's true.") Finding ways to laugh at pieces of art (comedy is art!) has been something people have done for centuries to cope and reflect on the human experience. Comedy can help you feel a little better by highlighting what's important to you and the silver linings of life's ups and downs.
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More Things To Try

What can I do now?

Acknowledging and being aware of your healthy and unhealthy guilt is an essential first step. It’s easy for something that happened to be bothering you and for you to not even realize it. Pausing to notice it, and name it as guilt, is a huge first step in feeling better. Since guilt teaches you about yourself, try to focus on ways to turn healthy guilt into something positive for yourself. Even if it’s a small change, harnessing the power of healthy guilt and recognizing the sources of unhealthy guilt can be invaluable for your physical and mental health and help you to approach the world with more confidence and empathy.
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