Loneliness

Our need to connect with others is ingrained in our biology, but even as we are texting, posting, and often interacting with others, many of us feel alone. This guide will help you to gain perspective on feelings of isolation and connectedness.
Woman looking out a window while sitting on her bed

What is loneliness?

When we feel lonely, we’re distressed or uncomfortable in our social connections. We feel like there’s a gap between what we want our social relationships to look like and what our experiences actually are. Even people who are surrounded by others all day can be lonely. It’s about the quality and authenticity of our relationships and not just the number of them. 

There’s an increase in these feelings across the U.S., so much so that the U.S. Surgeon General released a report in 2023 calling loneliness an epidemic.1

Sometimes, but not all of the time, loneliness can stem from feelings of isolation or can reinforce it. These feelings can be painful and include feeling left out and rejected.

What's causing my loneliness?

Social connection is wired into our DNA. Humans crave it just like other necessities such as food and water. That’s why when we don’t have it, it pervasively affects our mental and physical health.

There is no one cause of loneliness, and it can result from everything from a change in your living environment or a breakup to the death of a loved one. It may not even have a reason, because you’re actually surrounded by people. But, whatever the reason, you feel a disconnect and lack of support.

How should I deal with loneliness?

While feeling lonely is completely normal sometimes, it’s important not to let those feelings keep you from connecting with people you care about or doing the things you once enjoyed or still want to try.

Making an effort to have in-person human interaction, even if it’s taking a walk or going to the store, can be helpful in reminding us that we have support all around us.

Things to try

There are many possible activities you can try to overcome self-isolation and to address feelings of loneliness.
  • Two men running in a field

    Go for a walk

    Walking might sound almost too easy to be effective, but it elevates your heart rate enough to count as exercise and also has some amazing benefits. Research shows it can boost your mood, energy level, creativity, and productivity, making it a perfect way to clear your head and take a break. It can also help to reduce symptoms of depression, strengthen your immune system, and improve heart health. This makes it a great habit to stay physically and mentally strong so you’re better equipped to deal with stress.
    Explore More
  • Spend some time with a pet

    Pets can provide comfort, companionship, and more often than not, a laugh, when you need it most. Science also backs up the benefits of having a pet on your mental health. Spend some time playing with your pet and enjoying each other company. If you don’t have a pet but love animals, consider volunteering at a shelter or visiting a neighbor or a friend with a pet.
    Explore More
  • Text or call someone to say you care about them

    Sending out a simple text asking how someone you care about is doing can offer mutual benefits for you both. Doing so reinforces your connectedness to others, and helps to remind you that you have support when you might need it.
    Explore More
More Things To Try

What can I do now?

Although you might feel lonely or isolated, it’s important to remember there are people who care about you. It might feel difficult, but reach out to them and make plans. Take tiny steps each day to connect with at least one person. If breaking out of isolation becomes too overwhelming, consider finding a counselor or therapist to talk to, or check out other local resources that serve your community or a community nearby. 

Citations

  1. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services. Surgeon General's Advisory on Building Healthy and Resilient Communities